More Insanity Underground
by Danalas the Lady Chaos
Summary: You really wanna know? Sort of a parody of a musical. Danalas returns to the Underground with Steve and Colt. No drama class this time, though. This time it's Norma/Unicorn Lady, Puck, Kim, and Melissa. All complainers shall be tipped head first over the


More Insanity Underground

Disclaimer-I don't own anyone or anything from Labyrinth. Colt, Norma, Kim, Melissa, Steve, and Cel own themselves. I own myself. I also don't own any of the songs. They're all on the Moulin Rouge soundtrack. Ok. Disclaimer over. On with the insanity.

A/N:"Halt deine Mund." is German for "stop your mouth." Just for those who don't speak German.

Two weeks after graduation. It felt good to have her diploma, Danalas thought. Not only that, but she had also graduated from teh Jedi Academy. At the moment, she was going over a lightsaber drill with her friend, Lowie. Then, light flashed, sending Danalas into shock. When the light disappeared, she was down in the Underground, right in front of the entrance to the Labyrinth. Colt was there, too. So were Cel, Steve, Norma, Puck, Kim, and Melissa.

*switch to script mode*

Danalas:DAMMIT!!! Not again.... _She sits on the ground, head in her hands._

Colt:Now, LeAnn...this is your own fault and you know it.

Cel:Colt! It's not LeAnn's fault her powers aren't fully developed yet.

Steve:Powers?

Danalas:First of all, in this world, I am Danalas. I think I explained that the first time we were here, Colt. Second, yes, Steve, I have powers. They're just not very advanced yet. You got a problem with tht?

Steve:No, Dear.

Danalas:Good.

Mel:Just call Jareth? _She has an evil grin on her face._

Puck:Hi, Ladies.

Danalas:Hey, Puck.

Mel:Hi, Puck.

Kim:Hello, Puck.

Norma:Puck! _She hugs him. They kiss._

Danalas:The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return.

Colt:Shut up.

Danalas:You shut up.

Colt:You shut up.

Danalas:You shut up.

Colt:You shut up.

Danalas:You shut up.

Colt:You shut up.

Danalas:You shut up.

Colt:You shut up.

Danalas:You shut up.

Colt:Shut your mouth, bitch.

Danalas:Halt deine Mund.

Steve:Yeah. And don't call my fiance'e a bitch, either.

Danalas:It's ok, Love. I consider it a compliment. _She kisses Steve._

Cel:Anyway, what are we doing here?

Mel:LeAnn knew I wanted to see Jareth.

Danalas:You see Tights all the time. Besides, I didn't do it on purpose. If I had, I woulda chosen a better time than lightsaber practice.

Jareth:Yes?

Danalas:What the hell are we doing here **again**?

Jareth:That's what I want to know. I still haven't recovered from when you and your thespian friends trampsed through here. And I see you brought two of them back.

Danalas:No....Steve's my fiance, and not everybody last time was thespians. Especially not Colt. That was just my drama class last time.

Jareth:And did you have to bring **him** along? _Is motioning to Puck._

Danalas:I can't control my damn powers so yeah, I guess I did.

Jareth:Well, you know the rules. Get through the labyrinth in thirteen hours or else you all become one of us forever. Not that I wouldn't mind you staying around, Melissa. _He draws her close._ Mel:_Pushes Jareth away._Go jump off a cliff, Tights.

*switch to novel mode*

As Jareth disappeared, he opened up the doors to the labyrinth for the small group of friends. Danalas decided to start singing.

Danalas:_singing_ There was a boy. A very strange enchanted boy. They say he wandered very far. Very far. Over land and sea.

Colt:Oh no. Not again.

Steve:How many David Bowie songs do you know?

Danalas:Anything from the Young Americans CD, Space Oddisy, the entire Laby soundtrack, and Nature Boy, but only the versions from the Moulin Rouge soundtrack.

Cel:David Bowie's good.

Danalas:So's Ewan McGregor. Such a sexy voice.

Mel:Let's just get going and hope Jareth doesn't decide to show his face again.

Danalas:Fine. _She leads them on, going back to singing._ A little shy and saddened by. But very wise was he. And then one day. One magic day he passed my way. While we spoke of many things. Fools and Kings. This he said to me. The greatest thing, you'll ever learn, is just to love and be loved in return.

Kim:Well, so long as we're singing the Moulin Rouge soundtrack... _As they duck into a hidden place in the wall_

Norma:Lady Marmalade?

Mel:Laby Marmalade.

Danalas:You wanna join in, Cel? There's definately room for another voice. You can do Missy Eliot's part.

Cel:Sure.

Danalas:_As they enter the hedge maze_ Where's all my soul sistas? Lemme here y'all flow sistas.

Mel:Hey sista, go sista, soul sista, flow sista. Hey sista, go sista, soul sista, go sista. He met Marmalade down at old Labyrinth Rouge, strutin her stuff through the maze. She said "Hello, hey, J, you wanan give it a go?" Oh uh huh!

Danalas, Mel, Kim, Norma, and Cel:Guichie Guichie ya ya da da (Hey hey hey). Guichie Guichie ya ya here (here) Mocha Chocalata ya ya (oh yea) Labyrinth Lady Marmalade.

Danalas:What what what what

Mel:Oh oh

Danalas, Mel, Kim, Norma, and Cel:Voulez vous coucher avec moi ce soir. Volez vous cousher avec moi.

Danalas:Yea yea yea yea

Kim:He sat in her boudoir while she freshened up. Boy drank all that magnolia wine. All her black satin sheets, suedes, dark greens. Yeah.

Danalas, Mel, Kim, Norma, and Cel:Guichie Guichie ya ya da da (Hey hey hey). Guichie Guichie ya ya here (here) Mocha Chocolata ya ya (oh yeah) Labyrinth Lady Marmalade.

Voulez vous coucher avec moi. Ce soir. Voulez vous coucher avec moi.

Danalas:Yea yea uh. He come through with the money and the garter bags. I let him know we bout that cake straight up the gate. Uh. We independent women, some mistake us for whores. I'm sayin' why spend mine when I can spend yours. Disagree? Well that's you, such a pity. We're the girls from the castle from beyond the Goblin City. Ideal crystals get love from J-dude. 4 bad-ass chicks from the Labyrinth Rouge.

Danalas, Mel, Kim, Norma, and Cel: Hey sistas, soul sistas, best get those crystals sistas

Danalas:We drink wine with crystals in the glass. Bottle case the meaning of expensive taste. If you wanan Guichie Giuchie ya ya. Mocha chocalata what? Real lady Marmalade. One more time. C'mon now.

Danalas, Mel, Kim, Norma, and Cel:Marmalade....Lady Marmalade....Marmalade...

Norma:Hey Hey Hey! Touch of her skin feeling silky smooth. Color of cafe au lait alright. Made the savage beast inside roar until he cried. More! More! More!

Kim:Now he's back home doin' 9 to 5

Mel:Sleepin' the grey flannel life.

Norma:But when he turns off to sleep memories creep, More! More! More!

Danalas, Mel, Kim, Norma, and Cel: Guichie Guichie ya ya da da (Hey hey hey). Guichie Guichie ya ya here (here) Mocha Chocolata ya ya (Oh yeah) Labyrinth Lady Marmalade. Voulez vous couchor avec moi. Ce soir. Voulez vous couchor avec moi. Voulez vous couchor avec moi. Ce soir. Voulez vous couchor avec moi.

Cel:Norma.

Norma:Oh Leaeaa Oh

Cel:Kim.

Kim:Lady Marmalade

Cel:LeAnn

Danalas:Hey hey! uh uh uh uh

Cel:Melissa

Mel:Oh oh oooo

Cel:Rot Wailer baby. Moulin Rouge. Misdemeanor here.

Danalas, Mel, Kim, Norma, and Cel:Labyrinth Lady Marmalade Yes-ah....

*switch to novel mode*

When the girls finished singing, they looked around, and they were a bit closer to the castle. Danalas grinned.

Danalas:A Bohemian storm is brewing.

Steve:Huh?

Puck:What are you talking about?

Colt:A Bohemian Revolution.

Danalas:We are the children of the revolution. And the four believes are...?

Kim:Truth...

Norma:Beauty....

Mel:Freedom...

Danalas:And above all?

Cel:Love!

Puck:Is that the way outta here?

Jareth:Very good. Now go on. Find your way outta here. You don't even have to leave your spots.

Danalas:Let's do it.

Steve:_singing_ You can bump and grind if it's good for your mind.

Puck:_singing as well_Well you can twist and shout. Let it all hang out.

Danalas:But you won't fool the children of the revolution. No you won't fool the children of the revolution. No no no.

Colt:_getting into the act as well_You can tell I'm vain. In the falling rain. I drive a Rolls Royce...'cause it's good for my voice.

Mel:But you won't fool the children of the revolution. No you won't fool the children of the revolution.

Cel:No you won't fool the children of the revolution. No you won't fool the children of the revolution.

Norma:No you won't fool the children of the revolution. No no no you won't fool the children of the revolution. No no no.

Danalas:I knew it. We're closer to the castle already.

Kim:She's right. We've got freedom down. Now we just need Truth, beauty, and love.

Mel:Diamonds are beautiful.

Cel:Diamonds are a girl's best friend.

Kim:The French are glad to die for love...

Cel:A kiss on the hand may be quite contenental.

Girls:But diamonds are a girl's best friend.

Cel:A kiss may be grand but it won't pay the rental on your humble flat.

Girls:Men grow cold as doves grow old

Cel:And we all lose our charm in the end.

Girls:But square-cut or pear-shaped, these rocks don't lose their shape.

Cel:Diamond's are a girl's best friend.

Girls:'Cause we are living in a material world, and I am a material girl.

Cel:There may come a time when a lass need's a lawyer

Boys:But diamonds are a girl's best friend.

Cel:There may come a time when a heartful employer thinks your

All:Tush is plush.

Cel:But get that ice or else no dice.

Danalas, Kim, Norma, and Mel:He's your guy when stocks are high, but what happens when they start to descend? Diamonds are a girl's best...diamond's are a girl's best...diamonds are a girl's best friend.

Cel:'Cause that's when those louses go back to their spouses. Diamonds are a girl's best friend.

Puck:I knew this place was constantly changing, but this is rediculous.

Mel:It isn't rediculous if it gets us home faster.

Norma:Let's go to truth, next. We'll save the best, love, for last.

Danalas:Truth...truth...El Tango De Roxanne!

Puck:The prostitute, and the man who loves her.

Colt:The jealousy will drive you mad!

Puck:Roxanne, you don't have to put on that red light, walk the streets for money. You don't care if it's wrong or if it is right. Roxanne, you don't have to wear that dress tonight. Roxanne, you don't have to sell your body to the night.

Steve:He's eyes upon your face. His hand upon your hand. His lips caress your stand. It's more than I can stand.

All but Steve:Roxanne

Steve:Why does my heart cry?

All but Steve:Roxanne

Steve:With feelings I can't fight

All but Steve:Roxanne

Steve:Love me or leave me, just don't deceive me

All but Steve:Roxanne

Steve:Please believe me when I say I love you.

_Puck and Steve begin singing in counterpoint._

Puck:Roxanne  
You son't have to put on that red light,  
Walk the streets for money,  
You don't care if it's wrong or if it is right.  
Roxanne, you don't have to wear that dress tonight.  
You don't have to sell your body to the night.

Steve:Why does my heart cry?   
With feelings I can't fight.  
Love me or leave me, just don't deceive me.  
Please believe me when I say I love you.

All:Roxanne.

Danalas:There. That and when I was singing Nature Boy earlier should cover truth pretty well.

Colt:We're pretty close to the castle, now.

Jareth:All you need is love.

Mel:Don't start that again, Jareth.

Norma:He's right. All you need is love.

Kim:A girl has got to eat.

Steve:All you need is love.

Mel:She'll end up on the street.

Danalas:All you need is love.

Colt:Love is just a game.

Cel:_To Colt_I was made for lovin' you baby, you were made for lovin' me.

Mel:_To Jareth._The only way you're lovin' me baby is to pay a lovely fee.

Jareth:_To Mel._Just one night. Just one night.

Mel:_To Jareth._There's no way, 'cause you can't pay.

Puck:_To Norma._In the name of love. Just one night in the name of love.

Mel:_To Jareth._You crazy fool. I won't give in to you.

Jareth:_To Mel._Don't leave me this way.

Steve:_To Danalas._I can't survive without your sweet love, oh baby.

Jareth:_To Mel._Don't leave me this way.

Norma:You think the people would have had enough of silly love songs.

Danalas:I look around me and I see it isn't so. Oh no.

Colt:Some people want to fill the world with silly love songs.

Cel:Well what's wrong with that? I'd like to know. 'Cause here I go. Again.

Guys:Love lifts us up where we belong. Where eagles fly on a mountain high.

Girls:Love makes us act like we are fools. Throw our lives away for one happy day.

Guys:We could be heroes just for one day.

Mel:_To Jareth._You, you will be mean.

Jareth:No, I won't.

Kim:And I, I'll drink all the time.

Guys:We should be lovers.

Girls:We can't do that.

Guys:We should be lovers and that's a fact.

Girls:Though nothing will keep us together.

Guys:We can steal time just for one day.

All:We can be heroes forever and ever. We can be heroes forever and ever. We can be heroes just because

Steve:_To LeAnn._I will always love you I will always love you.

Girls:_To their respective guys._How wonderful life is now you're in the world.

Jareth:Well, that was entertaining. I think I'll leave the two of you together to figure out the rest of love. _He disappears._

Guys:Never knew I could feel like this, like I've never seen the sky before. I want to vanish inside your kiss. Everyday I love you more and more. Listen to my heart. Can you hear it sing? Telling me to give you everything. Seasons may change. Winter to spring. But I will love you until the end of time. Come what may. Come what may. I will love you until my dying day.

Girls:Suddenly the world seems like such a perfect place. Suddenly it moves with such a perfect grace.

All:Suddenly my life doesn't seem such a waste.

Girls:It all revolves around you.

All:There ain't no mountain to high. No river to wide. Sing out this song and I'll be there by your side. Storm clouds may gather. Stars may colide.

Guys:But I love you

Girls:I love you

All:'Til the end of time. Come what may. Come what may. I will love you until my dying day. Come what may. Come what may. I will love you.

Girls:Suddenly the world seems such a perfect place.

All:Come what may. Come what may. I will love you until my dying day.

*switch to novel mode*

Suddenly, the group found themselves in the castle. The Bohemian storm had brewed, and it had passed. "Well done," Jareth said. "You've met all the ideals of the Bohemian revolution. Truth, beauty, freedom, and love." Mel smiled. "I think I'll stay here and stick with love. That is alright with you, isn't it, Jareth?." The Goblin King smiled. "It's perfectly alright." "I knew it! Norma DOES get her smut from Mel telling her about her and J's love-life!" Danalas yelled. Jareth just shook his head and sent everyone home.

_Finis._


End file.
